I paced the living room floor, periodically peering out the window, watching the black turn to a lightening gray. Still, the Easter Bunny hadn't arrived. The kids would be up soon, spilling in with sleepy excitement, looking for their baskets. Dang, even if he got there soon, I wouldn't have enough time to hide the baskets.
I knew the Easter Bunny didn't have a magic sleigh like Santa to carry him from house to house in the blink of an eye. Instead, he relied on the sheer volume of his family to get the job done. Maybe our house had been delegated to one of the young uns. They were cute and shy, but sometimes they got lost. But I'd never had to wait this long before.
I heard a sound and whirled around. The Easter Bunny himself stood before me, looking haggard and apologetic.
"Dude, what happened?" I asked. "The sun is almost up."
"I know, I'm sorry.” He handed me the baskets in his hand. “It's just that last fall, I forgot my wife's birthday..."
I shrugged and looked at him quizzically. "That happens..."
"and went to a bar with the guys instead..." he continued. I winced.
"I guess I kissed a waitress and got lipstick in my fur..."
By this time I was shaking my head, knowing the story couldn't end well.
"and didn't get home until after three."
I cupped my balls protectively.
"Ouch." I patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "So she..."
"Cut me off. No sex for a month."
I shook my head in pity, then furrowed my brow.
"But that was last fall." I did the math in my head, understanding finally dawning on me.
"Yep. That's why we're short-handed this year."
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