tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post5677783059889101361..comments2023-11-14T01:13:04.914-08:00Comments on A*Musings: Thugs Like UsShellihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-72936762630937312322010-07-14T10:02:19.289-07:002010-07-14T10:02:19.289-07:00Cathryn -- I love your comments on mechanics, beca...Cathryn -- I love your comments on mechanics, because it helps me gauge not just how well you like my story, but how well I'm doing with the actual writing. And funny -- I thought my comment back to you didn't convey properly that I'm honored to get your comments because I admire your own writing so much! Thanks for giving me a chance to express myself better.Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-47907492347620906742010-07-14T05:10:35.754-07:002010-07-14T05:10:35.754-07:00I realized that my comment didn't capture how ...I realized that my comment didn't capture how much I enjoyed the story since it was so focused on mechanics -- those mechanics made it a great read!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-7641513535133694442010-07-13T11:15:35.633-07:002010-07-13T11:15:35.633-07:00Cathryn -- thanks for coming by. I appreciate you...Cathryn -- thanks for coming by. I appreciate your point of view, coming from a flash fiction aficionado like you!Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-47920495817486408512010-07-13T06:55:50.517-07:002010-07-13T06:55:50.517-07:00This is a great flash, Shelli! The transition from...This is a great flash, Shelli! The transition from the first to second paragraph was extremely well done. The twist at the end caught me by surprise and was true to the character.<br /><br />Very well crafted.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-88642116123428533472010-07-11T20:11:45.005-07:002010-07-11T20:11:45.005-07:00Adam -- thank you, and puns are always welcome!
W...Adam -- thank you, and puns are always welcome!<br /><br />Walt -- thank you for your comments, and also for sharing my story on Twitter. That was so cool of you!<br /><br />Susan -- I'm glad you liked it; thanks for coming by to read.<br /><br />Melissa -- thank you so much!Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-70460215099908321342010-07-11T06:13:11.581-07:002010-07-11T06:13:11.581-07:00Great use of description and one-sided dialogue. I...Great use of description and one-sided dialogue. I loved the twist at the end.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06488832373580617482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-39028543902107309452010-07-10T14:26:39.792-07:002010-07-10T14:26:39.792-07:00I really enjoyed it. Good twist.I really enjoyed it. Good twist.Susan G. Hawshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08149863824322299876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-30874271995909230192010-07-10T07:53:50.848-07:002010-07-10T07:53:50.848-07:00A complete roll reversal, a real who's the bad...A complete roll reversal, a real <em>who's the bad-ass now</em> moment. Loved the twist that she wasn't the weak victim he had thought her to be.<br /><br />Well doneWalthttp://www.waltinpa.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-32388317293248462042010-07-10T00:25:06.607-07:002010-07-10T00:25:06.607-07:00This is well conceived and executed, if you can pa...This is well conceived and executed, if you can pardon the pun. Nice and tight, with a great twist at the end.<br />Adam BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-17806731408073021362010-07-09T18:21:34.035-07:002010-07-09T18:21:34.035-07:00Thank you, Karen -- I was trying for a sense of am...Thank you, Karen -- I was trying for a sense of ambivalence about my character. Sure, the kid deserved it, but she wasn't any better than him, was she?<br /><br />Tanya -- Ah, I fell for the back story trap. Now I'm itching to do a little editing, which is against the rules. :)<br /><br />Scott -- Thank you! I'm glad I caught you off guard.<br /><br />Renee -- I think I owe you some happy stories. There are good people in the world; I need to start writing about them, too!<br /><br />admin -- Thank you. Maybe I owe you some happy stories, too!<br /><br />John -- Thanks! And, yes, I had to go there.Shellihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068094486297918345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-52332599402254216942010-07-09T17:56:01.421-07:002010-07-09T17:56:01.421-07:00Very well played, Shelli. And I absolutely love th...Very well played, Shelli. And I absolutely love the ending.John Penderhttp://johnpender.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-10584670935489737082010-07-09T17:18:32.887-07:002010-07-09T17:18:32.887-07:00He who lived by the gun certainly died by it. I ad...He who lived by the gun certainly died by it. I admire the way you turned the power relationship on its head. But now I need to have a bit of lie down ... I am too delicate for such an utterly ruthless ending!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-5629281654627172152010-07-09T14:56:55.868-07:002010-07-09T14:56:55.868-07:00Okay, ever the optimist, I was shocked at the endi...Okay, ever the optimist, I was shocked at the ending. Dismayed in fact, so you pulled me in and then surprised me big time! Great writing once again..I look forward to Fridays posts from you, Shelli!Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07089685282700680525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-58829117994824942752010-07-09T14:50:00.335-07:002010-07-09T14:50:00.335-07:00Wow. Very effective story. Knowing the prompt, I k...Wow. Very effective story. Knowing the prompt, I knew which was the coin would fall when she presented to him, so the end really was surprising to me. I smiled at your twist.Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11397525011462974857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-15031997472595876202010-07-09T14:46:32.462-07:002010-07-09T14:46:32.462-07:00I'll echo Karen here. The only suggestion I...I'll echo Karen here. The only suggestion I'd make to improve it would be to cut all the lines in the first paragraph after "...wore on the streets with his crew" and then add the next paragraph to it. Those lines weakened the effect of your opening.<br /><br />Great, vivid writing.Tanya Parker Millshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14604769216009443552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6356166881256164183.post-62416746700289810492010-07-09T14:04:33.195-07:002010-07-09T14:04:33.195-07:00Whoa....I mean....vivid picture and I have to give...Whoa....I mean....vivid picture and I have to give the girl props, but...I almost feel bad for the boy. :) Great writing Shelli.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com